Jumping Out the Window

There are different kinds of people you meet in life. Some you can go party with. Some people you work with and they are cool at work but you are never going to see them out in the world. Others you meet out in the world and never want to work with.

I have had the pleasure of working with all types of people. I have also met all different sorts of people and though they vary I can say that there are basically the same types of people everywhere you go. People are cool. People suck. We are all people and we all suck sometimes, no matter how cool we are.

I try not to let things get to me. I try not to let people effect me. Or is it affect? Anyway, I still let it bother me from time to time that others do not have the same opinions I have. That is something I know I will have to let go of, but for now, I have an issue. I feel like some are not as compassionate as I am, and therefore they are not as good as I am. By good I mean a good person who tries to do the right thing at all times.

When a friend confides in you, you have to remember that it is a blessing that some one has bonded with you to a point where they feel like they can trust you to listen and reply in a caring and compassionate manner whenever necessary. There have been times when my secrets have been blabbed about town or even thrown in my face (less than 24 hours later ya"ll!) and I felt like it was a serious breach of trust. I don't want to deal with the negativity and the bad energy it brings into my life. I want to be happy and enjoy myself. The next time I talk about my man I am gonna be singing his praises. You know??? The good stuff. My son is happy and healthy, my man loves me and does more for me and this family every day. I love my family and want to see us grow and prosper. I wish the same for everyone out there! It would be so nice if we all could spend some time with each other after being with the ones we loved. Maybe we could get some love done.

So it has been a few days, and rightly so because I haven't done anything on my paperwork. I found my receipts for August so I can do my budget and expenses for August. I think I tracked my expenses well in that month so it should be interesting to see what the numbers are.

I feel really good about the work I am putting into this...process. I feel like this is something I will continue doing and eventually it will become a habit. I know I want to buy a house soon because I want to have a child and I cannot have another child until I own a house. I also cannot have another child until I am married but that is another story.

So it all begins here, with my bankruptcy I can begin again, fresh and anew on my way to home ownership. I talked to a graphic designer the other day about making a logo for me but she said she could not get to it anytime soon. I told her that was fine. It works out for me because I have to file before I start any of that stuff to reduce the risk of my current financial woes effecting my business.

I'm really excited, I actually have someone scheduled to do a makeup session this Thursday...or Friday, I forget which day. No worries! I will just bring my kit with me both days so I can be prepared.

I actually told someone I know about my blog...I can't believe I did that! I mean I know I want people to read, why else would I post this on the Internet? But to tell someone I know to be a real person, to read about my broke ass, and then see me again in real life? I never did know when to be ashamed though. I try not to get too down on myself because of this money mess. I know I never want to be in debt like this again. You know I stopped opening my mail because of this mess? It takes a toll on my self-esteem. There are a lot of people out there who will call me a deadbeat but they were not there when I was pregnant trying to move out of an apartment because I came up short that last month of rent. When my roommate decided after 2 months they wanted to move back home. Nah, wasn't there for any of my struggles so don't judge me.

Goodnight, I am really not feeling well but I am keeping myself drugged up and I plan to go to bed now. Hopefully work won't be too bad tomorrow morning and then I have the next day off. I plan to lay around sipping tea and watching trashy daytime TV. By the way, I do not NOT like the short wig on Wendy, I do not like the switch to 10AM even though that is supposed to be a good thing, and I am not feeling the new wardrobe. If these ladies the producers are trying to appeal to did not like the real Wendy they can watch something else! That's my rant.

Toodles!

Drats...

So I am reviewing my paperwork and realize I have missed a deadline by two days. Well, really it would be more than 2 days because I am not ready to file the rest of my paperwork. Still I am disappointed that I will have to work on that part of my paperwork again.

See, to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy, I need to complete a credit counseling session. I chose to work with CCCSF which is the Credit Counseling C? of San Francisco. I had to go through all the debt I had which was like 20 creditors. Then I had to go over ALL my expenses, right down to beer and cigarettes, which I don't smoke, but I think it was funny. It was embarrassing to recount all the debt I have and all the expense I have. I mean even though my income has increased dramatically, I still am not breaking even at the end of the month. There are still variables like food and gas that catch me by surprise every month. I have to plan better, and I have started saving my reciepts and tracking my spending in an Excel spreadsheet. If I feel especially techie, maybe I will post it on here. It works well for me, when I use it, which has not happened in the last few months, but I am about to go through my reciepts for august tonight and I will be caught up in time for September.

So that is my progress for today. I am proud of myself for even looking at this stack of papers today. And maybe it is a good thing that the counseling cert expired because I have more income now and would like a real look at my financial situation. I know I will still need to declare bankruptcy but I want to know how much better things have gotten. Just gotta buckle down and get it finished. It only took me 2 years to get the certificate in the first place, what's another 6 months???

I guess I Will Then

So I have done nothing today to work on my...it's hard to even type the word. I know I already told you what I was doing and what I am currently going through, but it is still so hard to discuss. I just want it to be known that I wanted to pay my bills. There is a huge part of me that says I can increase my income and repay my debts instead of declaring bankruptcy...but that is just not going to happen. It's the best move for me to make at this time, even though I have been planning to do this for several years now. It is my pattern with everything, I get off to a running start, but there is no follow up, no sealing of the deal. Just a lot of big ideas and slow movements. One step foreword, two steps back.
Hopefully this blog will instill a sense of accountability within me. Believe me, if I even post on a weekly basis I am doing better by leaps and bounds. I look forward to doing it and doing it and doing it well! I swear I taste salt in my mouth probably from eating the food at work. I will not name my workplace because a lot of off things happen in connection with work and I would rather not go there. Just for the record, I like my job a lot.
I'm going to keep it real, I can't think of anything else to say so I am about to check out Diggy Simmons blog and love Maegan, goodnight!

I was looking over my post where I was happy about being linked in again and I was full of it at the time so I have to apologize for that nonsense I was talking. I would never do a show all about beauty, there would have to be more to it. I want some music in there. I want to interview people and give advice. I want to do alot more than talk about what kind of makeup I like.

And I heard Oprah needs a replacement...

Should I?

I was thinking just now that I should do something real with my blog. You know, track the progress of something important that I am doing in my life right now. I think I will tackle the topic of my pending bankruptcy. I figure that is real and in the current recession, someone can relate to my situation.



Top tell you the truth, my money troubles started a few years before this recession hit. I had a lot of debt coming out of college, and piled more and more on my plate in an attempt to finish school. It was with good intentions that I continued to take out loans, but I was not truly interested in the coursework and therefore did not perform well.



So here I am, no longer taking classes, trying to settle into the entreprenuer role I would like to see myself in...and I feel like this is the only thing standing in my way. Before I begin to build my business, I want all this money trouble behind me. I know once I accomplish this task, I will have the confidence to do anything.



Did I mention I was filing without a lawyer?

Pray for me ya'll!

Blog Love

Just want to give a brief shout out to my girls blogging and doing big things in cyberspace.

SingleTintheCity.blogspot.com
My girl Tams recounts her adventures in Chocolate City and the surrounding suburbs. I hope to make it into one of her stories soon! Read about her trip to the new strip club hotspot they are promoting as a option to clubbing...whatever...

manifestopart2.com
The Manifesto Part II is my first stop for celebrity gossip and the people I actually want to know about! I go there for info on Kanye and Amber Rose, who got arrested this year and more. I love how her blog is changing and growing and I wanna give her props for that!

Well, those are my girls and their blogs, I suggest you check them out, after you read me of course.

Finally I am Linked In!!

Well for the world to know, I finally have Internet in my home so that I may make contact with the world wide web!!! I taped some footage of an upcoming web show that I plan to go live by Thanksgiving. I need to acquire a few more items to make this show a success but it will be about makeup and beauty finds that I love as well as reviews of multiple types of media including books, music and movies. I look forward to being able to share my love and passion with the world. Toodles!